Monday, March 17, 2008

Good ol' fashioned smackdown


I was down at Old Chicago last night during the Nuggets/Sonics game when I looked up and saw that the score was 120-something to 80-something. It looked like the game was about to end and the Nuggs were well in control, so I headed to the restroom.

When I came back, I was shocked that the next quarter had began.

168 points.

168 points in regulation.

I'm not a big fan of chat lingo, but WTF?!

Wasn't it just a couple weeks ago when the Nuggets broke the NBA season high for points in a game with 138 (also against Seattle)? Who goes out and beats their best by 30?

In that first game against Seattle, Denver won by 42 points. This one: 52.

I'm expecting a 200-point performance by the Nuggets when the two teams meet on April 6. Oh, and they're going to win by 62 this time — led by Taurean Green's 32-point career game.

It blows my mind that this team — who are on pace for 50 wins — are in ninth in the West. They'd be fourth in the East. Guh.

Friday, March 7, 2008

A Nguyen by any other name


I’ve heard them all.

“Noo-yen”

“Nuh-guy-en”

“Noo-gent”

“Nuh-goo-en”

Growing up, I’ve had the distinct fortune of having heard a couple dozen different pronunciations for my last name.

In school, my teachers would go down the attendance list and stop at my name.

“Joseph N...”

“Joseph Nuh-ju-jen?”

Oh, how I’ve enjoyed hearing people butcher my surname by adding random sounds to it.
I had no idea that a six-letter word could have seven syllables.

Quick lesson: it’s one syllable.

I’ve tried to teach people to pronounce it correctly. I think my formula’s pretty easy to understand:

• Take the “ng” sound of the word “sing.”

• Add “win” to it.

• Say it like it’s one syllable: “Ng-win”

And if you want an authentic Vietnamese sound, add a question mark at the end.

Alas, my attempts are usually futile. For every person I teach to say it properly, about 20 others furrow their brows in a vain attempt to understand the situation.

(My apologies to Mr. Groening and his writers)

Still, part of me wants to continue my efforts to educate folks in hopes that they’ll be able to correctly say the 57th-most-common surname in the U.S. It’s not like we’re invisible. I mean, we’re clearly littered across the world of professional poker — Scotty Nguyen is easily the most entertaining card player today.

But the mainstream media has decided that the anglicized version of “win” is the proper pronunciation.

I know it’s not quite right, but it’s close — and only has one syllable.

Maybe that’s just easier. I mean, Joe “win” sounds much better than Joe “nuh-guy-yo-yen.”

Now if only I can stop people from calling me “John.”